Girls drink tea, not scotch...
I often hear comments about how feminists misinterpret innocent action for misogyny. Sometimes, though, it is impossible not to see how much my own friends can be chauvinistic macho douche bags.
Jack, one of my neighbors upstairs, loves sports (especially hockey) and we often go to his house when there are important events to watch. This was the case with the Olympic gold medal game for men's hockey this Sunday. It is especially pleasant to attend such events at his place because he is a brewer and usually offers his guests some of the best home brew available in Montreal. But I digress: the problem this time was not with Jack (even though he can sometimes have his share of macho attitude). The problem - as I put it - was surprisingly, with Aaron.
Aaron is my roommate. He is a lot of fun, he loves to play sports, he cooks well, he likes good music (he introduced me to M.Ward, for example) but sometimes he can be so clueless.
For the first Canadian goal celebration, there was scotch drinking. Aaron poured 5 glasses (we were 6 people watching) and distributed them among the guys for a toast:
- Thanks, Aaron, I don't want any - I said, teasing.
To which he answered, defensively:
-It's not my fault. There were only 5 glasses on the table...
Of course I don't think he did this on purpose to humiliate me or anything like that, but I did expect better from him. The cupboard where the glasses are stored is not that far away. It particularly bothered me that such an attitude came from him for a couple of reasons:
1) He was the one to introduce me to scotch tasting. He often gives me tips on how to recognize flavors, aging, etc. Why is it that he assumed I would not want any? Or did he think that I was not entitled to any?
2) I always share my food and drinks with him. I expected reciprocity!
Jack felt bad for not having put an extra glass for me, he even wanted to give me his own glass and get another one for him. I explained that was not the point. In fact, Jon said in his own words "she is just upset that she was left out".
Of course I was upset to be left out, as much as anybody else present in the room would be. I did not want to have any scotch (I was going to have some home brew) but the fact that I was not offered any is the upsetting issue. One of the first things I learned from my parents is to share my food with friends and family, but this is not a gluttony anecdote. It is a gender anecdote. I was not offered scotch because I am a girl and girls drink tea.
Jack, one of my neighbors upstairs, loves sports (especially hockey) and we often go to his house when there are important events to watch. This was the case with the Olympic gold medal game for men's hockey this Sunday. It is especially pleasant to attend such events at his place because he is a brewer and usually offers his guests some of the best home brew available in Montreal. But I digress: the problem this time was not with Jack (even though he can sometimes have his share of macho attitude). The problem - as I put it - was surprisingly, with Aaron.
Aaron is my roommate. He is a lot of fun, he loves to play sports, he cooks well, he likes good music (he introduced me to M.Ward, for example) but sometimes he can be so clueless.
For the first Canadian goal celebration, there was scotch drinking. Aaron poured 5 glasses (we were 6 people watching) and distributed them among the guys for a toast:
- Thanks, Aaron, I don't want any - I said, teasing.
To which he answered, defensively:
-It's not my fault. There were only 5 glasses on the table...
Of course I don't think he did this on purpose to humiliate me or anything like that, but I did expect better from him. The cupboard where the glasses are stored is not that far away. It particularly bothered me that such an attitude came from him for a couple of reasons:
1) He was the one to introduce me to scotch tasting. He often gives me tips on how to recognize flavors, aging, etc. Why is it that he assumed I would not want any? Or did he think that I was not entitled to any?
2) I always share my food and drinks with him. I expected reciprocity!
Jack felt bad for not having put an extra glass for me, he even wanted to give me his own glass and get another one for him. I explained that was not the point. In fact, Jon said in his own words "she is just upset that she was left out".
Of course I was upset to be left out, as much as anybody else present in the room would be. I did not want to have any scotch (I was going to have some home brew) but the fact that I was not offered any is the upsetting issue. One of the first things I learned from my parents is to share my food with friends and family, but this is not a gluttony anecdote. It is a gender anecdote. I was not offered scotch because I am a girl and girls drink tea.
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